Admit it, you missed me.
Posted By The Cigar Soldier on May 25, 2012
Whoa! It has been quite a while since I’ve had the time to sit down and share my most intimate 
thoughts with you schmucks. Since my last post I started a new job and opened up an office in Green Bay making my days filled with actual work severely limiting my free time to play on the computer. I still don’t have that much free time but withholding rants from the Cigar Soldier to the planet is considered a more cruel and unusual punishment than having to be the spay on tan guy for Snookie’s next bikini photo shoot. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Can you believe somebody actually knocked up that oompa loompa? I guess when given the option to nail that hag or smash your junk between two cinder blocks, any man would take pounding a troll over pancaking your manhood.
We’ve made a few changes to the club membership options this year to more easily accommodate paperwork for me and to make it more effective to manage new members and hopefully new club chapters. That’s right my minions, we’re going global! Well as least maybe non-local to start with. My goal is to help fellow cigar smokers start up and run their own cigar nights the same way we do with our charter club. It’s as simple as finding some chums to smoke with and it will all be organized right here on Cigarnightonline.com. Let your stogie chompin pals from elsewhere know that they to can be apart of the Brotherhood by running their own Cigar Night. Even in the face of all those anti-smoking water heads, we’re still enjoying our tobacco so why not enjoy it with a group of like minded people who must be at least as intelligent as us huh?
Speaking of all the “in your face” anti smoking polices and people pushing them, thank you to all of you that took the time to sign the Cigar
Rights of America’s petition to exempt cigar from FDA regulation. At last glance I think it was over 182, ooo lovers of the leaf and supporters of the freedom to make your own choice on a legal product that had penned their name to this very important piece of paper. The FDA has no business sticking their nose into regulating our happy sticks. Isn’t this the same govern-mental group responsible for making sure our meat and veggies are clean? Yet every year there is an e coli outbreak due to tainted bean sprouts or spinach or what many fast food restaurants try to pass off as a hamburger. And they feel they have the knowledge and resources to regulate tobacco? Are you freaking kidding me?
The good news is that summer is finally kicking into full swing and that means we’re back to lighting up in the great outdoors while sitting around the fire pit or searing dead animal on the grill with a cold beverage in hand. It is hard to beat an evening cigar accompanied by a glass of your favorite libation before the humidity and Mothra sized bugs take over the deck for the remainder of the season. It also means that Cigar Nights are hitting the road like Clark and the kids in the Family Truckster. Next month (which is June 5th for those of keeping score at home) we’ll be going to Papa Bears place. The address is 5036 E. Ronsman Rd. in the thriving metropolis of New Franken so write it down. Bring your chair, drinks and a few snacks and Paul and I will handle the rest. It’s a short drive so I expect a good turnout from you saps since he makes the drive every month to see your ugly mugs. Time to return the favor, capeesh?
Most of you should have received your club renewal forms through email but if you did not, click the link here and get that damn thing filled out so I can get the shirt order in next month. It’s real simple and for only the cost of a cup of coffee a day you can either feed a needy child or get a f’n cool shirt to smoke cigars in. Yeah I know, like that’s a tough choice. Many of you are going on your third year as a club member so I expect you to bring in some fresh blood by signing up new suckers to smoke cigars with us. I’ll continue to offer up a free stick to any active member who recruits a newbie into the club. New guy equals free cigar. It don’t get no easier than that.
Don’t forget that Friday June 1st is the Spokes and Smokes bike show event at Titletown Tobacco. There will be lots going on that afternoon so please come on down and help support a great cause. This event is a fundraiser for The Desert Veterans of Wisconsin so take part in the 50/50 raffle, get your bike washed, purchase a ticket to pick the winning bike or just grab a few cigars and listen to live music by The Cougars. You can’t miss when bikes and stogies are involved.
I’ll have many more updates on future events so be on the look out for posts and emails as I come up with lots of shit for you Chaps to occupy your time with this summer. Now, it’s time for me to stop looking at my computer screen, go light up a cigar and enjoy some sunshine. Happy Memorial Day everyone and I’ll see you June 5th.
The Cigar Soldier
About the author
Comments
Leave a Reply