Power Tools
Posted By The Cigar Soldier on June 10, 2011
I’ve been so preoccupied with the eventual advancement of summer here in the Midwest that I’ve done a fairly good job of blocking out most major news stories because, well, on my deck with a cigar in hand I honestly don’t give a shit what Anthony Dick is doing with his Weiner. Or I guess this time it was Anthony Weiner and his, okay anyhow you get what I mean so I’ll stop right there. I thought the older you got the more concerned you were with things that didn’t directly affect you? Maybe not but I recall both of my grandfathers reading the
paper everyday and watching the news every night so possibly I’ll still get there in due time but only if it doesn’t interfere with my nightly Seinfeld and Family guy episodes.
Jackwagons like Mr. Weiner are the reason I avoid most news and political crap, of course unless it relates to stealing away yet more of my rights to enjoy a handful of tobacco leaves skillfully rolled into my favorites shapes, because he is just another schmuck believing he can do whatever he wishes because he has some power. We all crave power and I’m sure the majority of people fantasize more about having power than they do, well anything else I guess. Wealth, fame, scoring the winning touchdown in the big game or being the only one on your block with the entire series of The Nanny on Blu Ray can make you feel powerful but it’s short lived unless you really know to hang onto it. Power is one of the most perishable goods out there my friends. Take me for example, I’m just a shill typing away on this site but without readers, I have no real power because what I do have is given to me by you guys and gals. I honestly deserve more power but WAKE UP people because the vast majority of knuckle draggers who do have a sliver of power in this country don’t deserve any more power than the choice to super-size their meals or not. Many probably couldn’t even effectively make that decision.
How else could you explain spending millions of dollars to be elected to a job that only pays 400K unless you crave power. Yeah, I’m talking about being The President of these here United States. The most powerful man in the word sits in his fancy office with one finger on the button that could blow up the world and it’s likely the same finger he uses to scratch his ass. That’s real power unlike these rubes we keep electing into public office who can’t seem to keep their camera phones above their waistlines. This asshat has a pregnant wife at home and he’s out Brett Favre’n his last name around the cyber world to women that aren’t his wife. How enraged would this human
turd be if some guy, lets just say a politician as a hypothetical example, was texting his wife pictures of their little buddy? I’ll go with “Upset” for 400 Alex.
People can really get off on power even if it’s only a tiny bit. If you don’t believe me, the next time you’re at the DMV check out the gal behind the desk and tell me she’s not ruling the place like Queen Isabella telling you to fill out another form and go to the back of the line. ARGHH! I’d stab you in the eye if this pen wasn’t attached to your desk with that stupid chain!
Send some guy to Washington D.C. who couldn’t get laid with a fistful of hundreds in a whore house, give him a little power and influence and you’ll have more used up escorts than an Enterprise car rental lot. It seems that anybody can grab a little play on the side and with all the wide-eyed interns funneling in and out of there every year it’s like a virtual Club Hedonism for old white guys. Hell even Newt Gingrich was getting laid back in the day. That’s what power will do for you and that’s why so many crave it.
I actually have some great updates for you guys besides complaining about the sex hounds in D.C.. First of all, due to the long Fourth of July weekend, Cigar Night will be moved to the second Tuesday of the month and held at Brother SCOTTii’s house. He has graciously offered to allow us mooks to hang out and smoke up his yard so we’ll do just that on July 12 at 1332 Doty Street in Green Bay. Bring your beverage(s) of choice and maybe some snacks to share and let’s make it another great evening.
The Booze and Cigar Cruise has tentatively been scheduled for Thursday July 7th. Now I know we were originally looking at a Monday or Sunday, but by the time we could get it work Summer would have been over. So I hope that some of you can still make this day fit your schedule. Seating is VERY limited so you must email me to reserve your spot and a good reply might mean a second date will need to be planned so if you miss out don’t go jump off Tower Drive Bridge because you’ll eventually get a chance to hang out with me soon.
My birthday is on June 19th so I do expect a cigar from each and every one of you. Please get them in the mail this
week because I’m very busy the rest of this month. My band (12 Volt Band) will be playing at Little Sturgeon Days at Wave Pointe on the 25th so run up to Door County for a morning parade, great live entertainment and a few cold refreshments.
Buffett Bash 2011 has been scheduled at The Vault for August 20th so get out your tropical gear and release your inner Parrothead by joining Brother Jimmy C, his great staff and of course The 12 Volt Band. We may be outside which means CIGAR FRIENDLY my boys! It will be a day of live music, drink specials and some great food so I hope you add this event to your busy calendar of things not to miss this summer.
That’s about all I think you can handle for now so I’ll save the rest for later. Have a great weekend my Brothers!
The Cigar Soldier
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