It’s news to me!

Posted By on July 13, 2011

Most of you guys that have been doing what I tell you to do (which is follow me like the Branch Davidian members followed David Koresch) know I purposely try to avoid the news.  But on a side note, Koresh claimed to be the final prophet that would impregnate Lois Roden and their resulting child would be “the chosen one”.  I gotta tell ya that I might have followed along with some of his bullshit at first and even been cool with the free hair cut you get for joining a cult,  but at some point don’t you think someone would have raised a few questions?  Like, if God has made you the chosen one why the hell do you need glasses?  I’d figure that the almighty could have picked someone with better eyesight to lead breaking-newshis followers.  Anyhow, back to my point: avoiding the news.

Even I could not bury my head deep enough inside my humidor to miss the end of the Casey Anthony trial and subsequent verdict.  Trust me I tried.  Is it just me or is that awful southern drawl spewing Nancy Grace on every freakin channel? It was nonstop coverage from everyone who wasn’t’ qualified to give an opinion much less group words together to form sentences that anyone would understand.  Love it or hate it, here’s the truth, whether or not the “Tot Mom” killed her poor defenseless child, the prosecution did not do a good enough job of presenting their case and the jury decided that circumstantial evidence was not going to be enough to convit her.  And so she walked.  Alright, done with that.

The other mega story is how broke we as a country have become and the debt ceiling needs to be raised.  If the citizens have no money because we’ve overspent our way into the closest trailer park, don’t you think our fine elected officials are doing the same thing?  Over half the population couldn’t finance a cheeseburger right now and yet we keep borrowing and spending like a college freshman with a new checkbook.  Just because there are checks debtcollectionleft doesn’t mean there is still money.  I guess our government will just end up doing what the rest of us do when money is tight, skip a few payments.  Pretty soon creditors will be calling up the White House asking when can they make a payment or face have the cable being turned off.   Do what I do when creditors call, ask if you can make a payment with your Visa.  And when they tell you, “Sir we are Visa”.  Just say great, raise my limit and pay yourself. Problem solved.

Talk about two completely opposite stories and the impact they have on the masses.  I think there is a fairly visible  line drawn in the sand that separates the type of people who follow each of these stories.  The first group would be the ones whose life is so pathetic that they remained glued to the Casey Anthony trial because it was living proof that there exists at least one family more jacked up than their own.  The other story is followed by, well everyone else.  I’m not trying to make light of what Casey Anthony did (or did not do according to the jury) because it’s a horrible horrible thing that took place, but my god people get a damn life!  Most of the knuckle draggers in the states never even realized that space shuttle Atlantis lifted off on July 8th for it’s final flight because it wasn’t sponsored by Red Bull or Bud Light.  Stop hooking yourself to other peoples tragedy and focus on what you can change like getting rid of useless politicians who keep spending our damn money!

I’m so fed up with hearing about how bad this country is doing and how in debt we’ve become while the vast majority of tards continue to sit on the sideline  of life waiting for their free hand outs watching the parade go by.  These are the same jagoff’s that refuse any effort to make thier own life tolerable and then wonder why it ain’t getting any better for themselves.  Do the world a favor, pull your bottom lip over your head and swallow!  We’re on the verge or becoming like Greece and most of this country is more concerned with if Casey Anthony is going to go back to being the party girl she once was when released.  You people make me sick.

Thank God I have my boys from The Brotherhood of the Leaf to vent to and burn a few cigars with to help ease my bendofworldlood pressure before I explode.  A big thanks to Brother Scottii for having us over last night and we’re already planning next month at Big Dicks (for you guys not local to our crew, it’s better not to ask about this one).  Be sure to keep checking the Event Calendar on Cigar Night for updates so you don’t miss a thing.  If you have something you would like added just shoot me an email and I’ll put it on there for you.

Have a great week my stogie chompin minions and don’t forget, the new date for the end of the world is now October 21st so make sure you’re not paying off those credit cards in full.  I figure if the earth is going to be destroyed by an asteroid, tidal wave or some cosmic flame that wipes out life on this planet as we know it and I still owe a few thousand bucks on my Visa, I win.

The Cigar Soldier

About the author

The Cigar Soldier is the founding father and President of The Brotherhood of the Leaf, an internet community of cigar enthusiasts and Northeast Wisconsin’s only true membership based cigar club. As the main writer for Cigar Night, his rants can sting, stir or inspire your emotions, as he leaves no topic of enjoying the cigar lifestyle off his hit list.


Leave a Reply