Get your own!

Posted By on April 15, 2013

From the way the weather is acting here in Northeastern Wisconsin, you would think winter is on its way in instead of on its way out.  Mother Nature sure has been a real bitch lately.  Yet we do our best to deal with it in the hope that Summer will bring us many long days filled with the things we fellas love most: girls in skimpy swim suits, golfing, fishing, riding motorcycle and of course cigars outdoors. The first day that I can burn through a Churchill without running the garage heater, for fear of chilling my dainty little fingers, is more a sign of spring being here than anything that stupid ground hog could ever predict. Cold or not I’ll find a way to enjoy a fine stogie when I want one but I think we can all agree that it’s much more enjoyable with when the only chilled thing is your glass of Bourbon.

Summer in Wisconsin allows us many opportunities to light up with friends and from the way you bums fogged Suttner’s garage a few13deck weeks ago, I know you’re like me in wanting to take advantage of all those opportunities. That also means you’re bound to run across the infamous “cigar mooch” when you light up. How many of you guys have been at a wedding, family reunion or even a bike or car show when you dig into your travel humidor for a hand rolled South American treat only to have the cigar mooch ask if you have any extras? They always ask as though extra means if I don’t smoke them today I’m going to go home and toss them in the trash like junk mail.
“Sure, here’s a twelve dollar limited release puro that I was going to toss in a dumpster anyway so you might as well smoke it.” It would be like me saying since you have gas in your car, you got a couple extra gallons for me?

The Cigar Mooch can be found anyplace people gather and for some reason they all claim to like cigars, but are never quite smart enough to bring some to whatever event they are attending. Certain gatherings are known for cigars; bachelor parties, golfing, tailgating and even the wedding day itself. So why do I feel like I’m the only one that thought ahead far enough to pack a weekends worth of leafy stress relievers? I love to share cigars with my buddies and you bums who actually know how to enj0y a fine cigar but it seems that I’m usually caught with my humidor open when Joe Pinch Penny, who attempts to smoke one or two cigars a year, is overly anxious to join me for one. One of mine! Unless you just landed on this planet or recently became a man, you’re expected to be aware of all the situations where cigars are generally okay to be enjoyed. If you claim to be a dude that likes a good cigar, why the hell didn’t you bring some? Being the nice guy that I am, I typically end up with an empty case as a handful of                                cigar noobs resembling primates eating bananas try to cut and light my precious cargo only to cut it wrong and scorch the foot worse than a California wild fire.

As if passing out my days’ worth of yum yums to an eager crowd of “have you got one for ME’s” isn’t bad enough, about the time I really get into finally enjoying my smoke, I witness three quarters of a perfectly fine cigar being smashed out right in front of me. What the fuck?! You just ruined eight bucks worth of third world labor to get back into the reception hall for another free Coors Light? At this point I’m waiting for some B-list celebrity to jump out from behind the bushes to tell me about the new prank show they’re filming for an A&E special and that all my sticks will be replaced with a full box or pre-embargo Cubans. I can wait all I want but what I’m left with is the remains of a few previously good cigars and a sinking feeling that I too had just been had by the Cigar Mooch.

I guess we cigar gents are a gullible bunch because we continuously fall victim to the Cigar Mooch yet still pass out cigars quicker than a priest hands out Snicker bars to keep the altar boys silent. I’d like to think that we’ll all learn someday to stop being so generous but after some careful review, while enveloped in a thick cloud of blue cigar smoke, I realized we won’t. It’s because we true cigar nuts love our handmade tobacco treats so much that we can’t understand why everyone doesn’t love them just as much. Different smokes or strokes for different folks. Not everyone has the elevated intelligence level as us so they fail to see all the wonderful things that cigars provide to those who choose to enjoy them. I guess more for us then. Don’t ever stop trying to spread the good word and the joys of cigar smoking but be warned that with summer trying to peak it’s head through the never ending snow and cloud cover, the cigar mooch is already plotting the many ways to get free sticks from you the next time you light up.

Canimao Cigars will be releasing a brand new cigar on April 25th at Titletown Tobacco. This new stick will be called the Collaquiales and it is a 5 1/2 X 56 cigar with a Habano wrapper so it will live up your expectations from Canimao. The event runs from 5:00 to 9:00 with a rep from Canimao there to answer any questions and let you know about the specials for the event. The big news is that when you show up wearing any of your Brotherhood of the Leaf gear, you will get 5% of your purchases! This is a big deal for cigar smokers in Northeast Wisconsin to finally have a cigar company recognize our little corner of the world so let’s show up in big numbers sporting your club wear and show them how dedicated we are to the cigar culture in Packerland country.

Beware of the mooch and I’ll see you on the 25th!
The Cigar Soldier


About the author

The Cigar Soldier is the founding father and President of The Brotherhood of the Leaf, an internet community of cigar enthusiasts and Northeast Wisconsin’s only true membership based cigar club. As the main writer for Cigar Night, his rants can sting, stir or inspire your emotions, as he leaves no topic of enjoying the cigar lifestyle off his hit list.


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