Light one up
Posted By The Cigar Soldier on May 1, 2017
Did you know that in the state of Wisconsin, it is illegal to grill without drinking a beer? No really. I’m sure I read it on the internet or was told so by some guy that works at General Beverage. If it isn’t a law, it damn well should be. There is nothing that goes better with charring up dead animal over an open flame than an icy cold brewski. Light yourself up a cigar and we’re talking a small slice of heaven right here on earth. Or at least on your patio.
With longer and much warmer days soon to be upon us, grills across the Badger Nation are being fired up to prepare all sorts of succulent delicious treats. Brisket, ribs, brats, burgers and steaks so big that not even Chet Ripley could finish one. Weather you toss on a few dogs for an afternoon cook out, or slow cook some pig butt for 12 hours on a Sunday, grilling is part of our masculine genetic makeup. I’m sure our ancestors would invite the neighborhood over for open flame cooked Stegosaurus and fermented swamp weed juice, so tending to animal on the barbeque is simply ingrained in our DNA. Some of us are just better at it than others. Never trust a skinny cook.
I was always a fan of gas grills and would happily recite the Strickland Propane mantra uttered over and over by Hank Hill, “Taste the meat not the heat”. Well, that was before I broke down and went broke to get myself a Big Green Egg. The mother of all grills. Food is just better over a real flame and you have time to drink more beer as the charcoal gets ready. So it’s really a win-win when you think about it. No matter what you use you sear your eats, grilling is a fun way to try out new recipes for those of you adventurous to take on more than burning a burger on the weekend.
Being someone who really enjoys cooking, I am always interested in testing out new ways to prep a meal and tweak recipes. Sometimes they get better and 
sometimes they were perfect from the start and all I did was make it worse. But of course the real benefit to testing variations is first and foremost, you get to eat your creation! But a close second is spending a little relaxation time with some spirits and a stogie. Matching your beverage and cigar with your fare is as much fun as eating the end product. There are almost as many styles of beer as there are cigars so depending on if you have seafood or a big slab of red meat on the burner, you’re sure to find one that enhances your cigar and dinner. Hey, don’t let those wine snobs be the only ones that think picking out a bottle to pair with your cuisine is just for their snotty sommeliers. Choosing the proper brew and cigar can be an art form and one you need to practice many many times to get it right. Grape Swisher and some 2-Buck chuck with your Oscar Mayer weenies sir?
Even if you don’t find cooking something enjoyable to do, make your fat ass useful and take over some food prep duties so your wife can have a break once in a while. Waiting on you hand and foot is enough to make any one jump in front of a bus so help the poor broad out. Plus you can grant yourself some much needed peace and quiet with a drink and a cigar while partaking in primal act of playing with fire. Steal back your manhood this summer and become the grill master you should be with a cold beer in one hand and puro in the other. You’ll be glad you did. And you won’t be hungry when you’re done. Another win-win in my book.
About the author
Amen, Brother Garth. We agree on this!