It is warm out there
Posted By The Cigar Soldier on July 6, 2012
The next person that says “hot enough for ya” is gonna get punched in the sack! Well probably not, but it is kinda warm
throughout much of the country. Not sure why we’re all so surprised because it did this last year at about the same time. Oh and it has done it every freakin year prior to this at about the same time for as long as I can remember! Stop whining you pussies and turn up your air conditioner. It’s why they call it the summer doldrums and not the “Super Terrific Hot as hell swamp nuts happy time”. Deal with it or move farther north.
It’s always the same people that constantly complain when the mercury starts rising to Hades levels who can’t shut their yap when the chill of winter finally takes over . It’s too hot, it’s too cold. I’m too much of a wussy and should be strapped into a Buick and dropped in the ocean. Grab a cigar, kick back and wait it out cause I’m going to let you in on a little secret, it’s going to happen again next year and every year after that. Whew, now onto bigger and better things.
Summer does have it’s positives though. My post from June 2010 covered many of my favorite things surrounding the hot and humid days of living through summer. Grills, girls and girls. Oh, I already said that didn’t I? The hotter it gets out there the less the gals are wearing and I’m sure none of you guys are complaining about that. Just put on some dark shades and watch the summer scenery because much like that cigar you just lit, it’ll be over before you know and it and when you’re knee deep in snow at least least you can look back fondly and recall ogling hotties from a park bench with a stogie in tow.
I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July because it’s Cigar Night next week on the 10th and I expect you to all show
up. No, I didn’t forget about you fellas while in my whiskey and cigar induced haze last week. Plans have been made and planets have been aligned so that you can have a wonderful Cigar Night in my absence. That’s right ya Milf Hunters, I’m going to miss my favorite night of the month. But try not to shed a tear for your Cigar Soldier, I will be smoking up a storm across our northern boarder in the land of moose and Mountie’s. I tried to make a deal with our government to once and for all take that wailing sack of crap Celine Dion back to her homeland but Canada doesn’t want her either. Mugsy will be fully stocked and ready for some serious fishing so keep your eyes peeled for where he may turn up.
Cigar Night will be at one of our newest members home in New Franken. It ain’t that far so stop your pouting. For those of you that have not met Robin yet, I’m positive you will all enjoy his gracious hospitality for hosting our event so treat him with all the kindness and generosity we typically show each other. In other words, make fun of him and see if you can destroy what little amount of dignity and self esteem he has left. The address is 5712 Van Lanen Road, New Franken, WI 54229.
I’d say I’m going to miss you guys but that would be like saying I miss jamming a hot poker into my eye. I will however miss handing out all the new club shirts that should be in. With any luck I will send them with Brother Flounder so you’ll all have some new attire to show off to the misses when you get home smelling like bug spray and a dirty ash tray. If any of you have membership renewal forms filled out and ready to be turned in, drop them in the mail of give them to Flounder on Tuesday. Sure you can trust him, I think.
I’ll be having a blast in Canada spending some quality time with my Dad so I hope you guys can have just as much fun on the 10th with your fellow cigar brethren. Behave yourselves and I’ll see you boys when I get back!
Stay cool and stay thirsty my friends.
The Cigar Soldier
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