I’m starving for a big soda

Posted By on August 27, 2012

It’s time once again to be pissed off so please do not read the following post.  You are being warned that the content below is plastered with gross vulgarity so I urge you to not read any further.  For you brave ones out there, proceed with caution.

I really didn’t think it was worth writing  about this since it is not technically brand new news, but Mayor Nanny State was at it again.  Recently, New York City Czar Bloomberg proposed a ban on soft drinks larger than 16 ounces.  This was his latest crusade to save the planet and “his” city from itself while ignoring  things that actually matter like the cities infrastructure.  Which like most large cities is falling apart faster than the corpse of Michael Jackson.  His assault on smoking ran face first into a hurdle when the legislature failed to pass the anti-smoking law so he’s out pushing a new health agenda in hope that the public won’t realize what a colossal money wasting fuck up this guy really is.

I don’t live in New York so I honestly don’t care if it’s residents live, die or grow daisies out of their ass.  What I do care about is how the government or a government official thinks they have any right to control what we eat or drink.  Bloomberg thinks that he can change the habits of the masses by limiting the volume of soda pop they drink.  Who the fuck does this guy think he is?  I told you in a previous post long ago that this shit was coming.  Twenty years ago we all laughed and said they’ll never ban smoking.  Ten years ago we laughed and said they won’t try to control what we eat.  Now we’ll all sit back and laugh thinking they can’t tell us what or how much to drink.  Wake the hell up people!

It’s not the job of government to stop fat fucks from being fat. It plumpy wants 10 cheeseburgers a day and a hot tub of Coke to wash them down, that is his choice.  Don’t give me that crap about how ultimately we’re responsible for him.  We’re also responsible for all those brain dead hillbilly cousin fuckers who live in the flood zone areas of the Mississippi that get washed out every couple of years and then receive billions in aid.  If you’re going to tell chubby to cut back on his calorie intake so you won’t be stuck paying for him to get crane hoisted out of his whale tank, then tell those jag offs with water marks on the side of their house from the last flood to move the hell away cause we’re sick of paying to rebuild his red-neck riviera every time it rains.

Certain segments of the public will actually support this ban since they are far too stupid to make good decisions in their own lives and feel that it’s best if big brother just tell them what to do.  For those of you thinking “at least they are stepping in to help”, please go jump in front of a bus.  Trying to take control over what a business sells or what a person wants to purchase under the disguise of doing what is best for you is complete bullshit.  If somebody wants 36 ounces of Mountain Dew, they’ll drink it even if they have to buy 2 bottles.  Is it a good decision to drink that much in one serving?  I guess that depends on that individuals overall health.  But maybe their parents or their teacher in the nutrition class they had in school should have taught them not to be a big fat useless piece of crap by eating better.  Has everyone just given up and succumbed to doing what ever some wind bag politician tells us?

The problem here is that all of  these things are attacks on the personal choices that should be made by each individual person and by that person only.  Where does the tyranny stop?  No more large sodas?  No more double cheeseburgers?  No more candy bars?  No more buttered popcorn at the movie?  Next thing ya know they’ll be telling us we should buy electric cars and fluorescent light bulbs.  Er, wait.  Are you getting it yet?  We have given them control over things that they have no business making decision on.

I’m not a big fan of slurping massive quantities of pop so should I care about shit like this?  HELL YES!  Letting those asshats in government continually push their way into our personal lives will end with horrible consequences because it’s always a starting point for them to chip away at other freedoms or liberties we have.  Certain things need government oversight such as enforcing speed limits, making job sites and work places safe for employees, restricting flight times of pilots and a host of items done in a effort to make the lives of the public safe.  The difference here is that it is a personal choice to drink soda, eat fast food, smoke all day or watch Jenna Jameson videos until you have carpal tunnel so bad you can’t even comb your hair.  Just how stupid have we become as a country that we think it is okay for a stuffed suit to dictate how much cola I can drink becasue some lazy prick is too stupid to know that it’s not good to drink case of Dew a day?

Here is what really has my brain turning itself inside out.  A recent study by Feeding America (the nations largest domestic hunger relief charity) says that one in four children don’t have enough food.  ABC ran the article and of course found it necessary to say that not eating enough is equivalent to poverty.  Tell the children in Sudan and Ethiopia that American kids with $125 basketball shoes, designer jeans and smart phones that throw away most of their free school lunch it’s the same thing as not eating for days on end.  Yes we do have  a level of poverty in America, but it is nothing compared to what the children of these third world shit hole dirt and rock garden countries deal with.  So if everyone is so fucking fat, how can we call be starving at the same time?  What am I missing here folks?  The government wants to control what you eat and drink because the population is obese but yet needs another super tanker full of cash to feed all these kids before, during and after school because no one has any food.  Like the herd of mindless lemmings that most of this country is, we’ll all bend over and take another one in the ass watching the ability to make our own choices go bye-bye and all while opening our empty wallets to a massive government screaming at the top of their lungs that we must save the children.  If you want to save these people, save them from the water head inbreds that are their parents and stop letting these chromosome missing UFO watchers have kids if they can’t even provide the bare essentials like a God damn Pop-Tart for breakfast.  Take some responsibility for yourself and stop expecting government  to  baby sit and fund your lazy ignorant ass.

It’s getting out of control and we need to step up to be the leaders and set examples to others that we are intelligent enough to make smart decisions in our lives and that big government does not always know what is best for us.  I think you guys are all smart to agree with me on that.  Now go have someone help you sound out the big words in this post cause I gotta go light one up and relax.

 Peace, love and long ashes my brothers,

The Cigar Soldier





About the author

The Cigar Soldier is the founding father and President of The Brotherhood of the Leaf, an internet community of cigar enthusiasts and Northeast Wisconsin’s only true membership based cigar club. As the main writer for Cigar Night Online.com, his rants can sting, stir or inspire your emotions, as he leaves no topic of enjoying the cigar lifestyle off his hit list.


One Response to “I’m starving for a big soda”

  1. Bruce says:

    I’m with you brother, thats why I live where I do , just about anything goes here.

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