The “Holidays” are here

Posted By on November 22, 2011

I was watching a local morning show and one of the reporters was interviewing a near deceased woman who apparently was a “Holiday Tree Decorating Expert”.  First off, they are called Christmas Trees.  Stop watering shit down in a useless attempt to not offend people because in doing so you’re guaranteed to piss off the original group.  On a side note, The Brotherhood of the Leaf Cigar Club recognizes and celebratecbtrees Christmas because the vast majority of our members do the same.  We recognize that not everyone does and try not to force religious or political views and opinions down your throat at our club gatherings.  I on the other hand will punch you in the face repeatedly with my beliefs and opioins because I am smarter than you and you honestly need to know what I’m thinking.  Now back to my main thought that started five minutes ago.   This reporter should have been interviewing someone on how to properly cook the Swanson Hungry Man Turkey dinner plate since that’s the recognized holiday most closing approaching us.  This skeletal lady stated that proper decorating procedure is 10 ornaments per 2 feet.  And I’m thinking, says who?  Says Jesus?  I don’t recall any of his speeches about the correct number of ornaments on the tree or no Salvation for you.  I guess that stat comes directly from the wrinkled old hag who owns the store that is selling the fucken ornaments!  Can you honestly tell me that if I only want to hang one shiny bulb on my Christmas tree that it’s not acceptable?  It may be a bit wacky and strange looking but then again, so am I.  This little example of  being a holiday lemming is exactly what is wrong with this time of year.

I really don’t care if you light the Menorah, decorate the Christmas tree or have a Karamu becasue it’s really none of my business what you do in your spare time.  That is as long as you keep reading my blog.  But telling me that I need more ornaments per square foot on me tree is like saying your Hanukkah candles don’t burn long enough or you need more than Seven Principles of Blackness to really be effective.  It’s complete BS to have a retail outlet dictate what is acceptable when it comes to celebrating the way you choose to do so this season.

Did you know that many stores, including the mall in Appleton Wisconsin, will be opening their doors at Midnight oblackfridaycrowdn Thanksgiving in order to lure more shoppers out?  Please just come out and spend billions to show you actually care about your loved ones because without maxing out your credit cards, how will Jesus know you care about him?  I know that many stores bank on the Christmas season to make their profits so they can stay a float until next year but believe it or not there is more to the Holidays than a never ending barrage of useless gifts obtained by trampling another human just so you can get an Ipod on sale.  Spend, spend, spend and then stress out on how the hell you can afford to pay for all the shit you’re gonna buy just becasue you have to have the latest decorations and gifts you are told you should have.

I don’t want to argue the merits of Christmas because that topic gets over debated every year as to weather or not the time frame is correct and yada yada yada………. .  I love this time of year because people DO act differently towards one another and for at least a few weeks of the  year we seem to put away our differences from one another and join our fellow man. Except the Irish, nobody likes the Irish.  That feeling is something you can’t purchase in a store so why would you listen to any retailer who tells you what to buy, where to buy it or for the love of God how many ornaments your tree should have?earlyxmas  Every year the stores start putting out their holiday items earlier and earlier and it won’t be long until they just leave them up year round so they can continue to jam them down our pie holes the whole year through.  This way they can completely remove religion from the equation and just keep selling you plastic snowmen and fruitcakes.  Not Justin Bieber but real semi edible fruitcakes.

Like I said, I could care less what or how you celebrate “the Holiday Season” because chances are that none of us actually have it figured out properly.  Put up what ever decorations you like or don’t like and stop letting Hallmark tell you what you should or should not have on or under the tree this year.  You know what, really show them and put up a freaking cactus this year.   But before all of that nonsense, have a very happy Thanksgiving.

To all my Brothers and Sisters of the Leaf at home and abroad, have a very blessed Thanksgiving.

The Cigar Soldier

About the author

The Cigar Soldier is the founding father and President of The Brotherhood of the Leaf, an internet community of cigar enthusiasts and Northeast Wisconsin’s only true membership based cigar club. As the main writer for Cigar Night, his rants can sting, stir or inspire your emotions, as he leaves no topic of enjoying the cigar lifestyle off his hit list.


One Response to “The “Holidays” are here”

  1. First Lady says:

    Excellent blog as usual soldier boy! Thank goodness for the maxed out credit card so I can heartfully and truthfully say to all those looking for a gift this year “You’ll get nothing and like it!” For those few that will make my gift list, nothing says loving like cash, booze and gars! If you don’t like any of those options, let me know and I’ll remove you from the list and you can shop for yourself on that wretched of all days Black Friday (would that make them blacklisted then…)

    Happy Thanksgiving my brothers and sisters and for all those turkeys out there that are offended, well, think about what my response might be (clue – look at the bird on the table tomorrow)! XoOXxOxoOX

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