My Night Before Christmas

Posted By on December 21, 2012

Twas the night before Christmas and in my humidorchristmas-scene
It was packed full of cigars but there was still room for more
The ash tray was placed on the table with care
Because yours truly,  The Cigar Soldier soon would be there
The Stogies were nestled all snug in a box
While I was sipping single malt Scotch on the rocks
And the wife in a nightie so skimpy and small
Had just climbed in bed for a late evening maul
When out from the kitchen arose such a chatter
I grabbed my Glock 9 ready to spray some gray matter
Away to the hallway I stumbled and fell
And swore like a sailor, God damn straight to hell!
With dim light off the TV from Jay’s Tonight Show
I snuck up on them bastids like I was Rambo
But what to my smokey filled eyes should appear
My friends from The Brotherhood with cigars and some beer
With a box full of Cubans I grabbed me a stick
I lit it real fast and I smoked it up quick
More stogies presented with tears in my eyes
There were lots of big names in all shapes and size
Some Toro, some Lonsdale, Churchill and Corona
Some Presidente, Perfecto, Torpedo and Panatela
We smoked more than one, we smoked nearly all
I’m so lucky my Brothers decided to call
Those tobacco leaves not too moist not too dry
Lit up with a match created smoke in the sky
Puffing away with a drink now in hand
It was feeling like Christmas I was feeling quite grand
And then from the front door I heard a loud bang
I smelled more cigar smoke from the rest of the gang
As I tuned and I looked at those now in my house
The wife came downstairs in no more than a blouse
Barley dressed at this point and still ready to play
Still itching for a Holiday romp in the hay
But the guys are all here with booze and cigars
We were talking bout sports, we were talking bout cars
hotchristmasHer eyes lost the twinkle and her face got less merry
It’s not a good look in fact it’s rather quite scary
Scatted ashes on the floor and bottles around
She strolled through the kitchen and made not a sound
The cigar I smoked that was still clenched in my teeth
she grabbed took a puff and blew smoke near the wreath
Then the boys laughed all in time deep from the belly
Although the cigars made the house somwhat smelly
My boys and my bride all sharing some smokes
I laughed and I smiled at the collections of folks
She gave me a wink and turned back for bed
That’s when I knew what was going on in her head
We sat and told stories of Christmases past
Smoked and drank way to much but had such a blast
Then my Brothers all at once said they must leave
Cause hell they had to get home, it was still Christmas Eve
I cleaned up the mess, ready for what was impending
Turns out after all, I got my happy ending!
So to you all my Brothers who help me keep up the fight

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

About the author

The Cigar Soldier is the founding father and President of The Brotherhood of the Leaf, an internet community of cigar enthusiasts and Northeast Wisconsin’s only true membership based cigar club. As the main writer for Cigar Night, his rants can sting, stir or inspire your emotions, as he leaves no topic of enjoying the cigar lifestyle off his hit list.


One Response to “My Night Before Christmas”

  1. Johnny says:

    Impressively well written Mr Garth Hemingway !!
    merry Christmas to the Soldiers of the Flame !!

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