The Brotherhood of the Leaf

Posted By The Cigar Soldier on July 31, 2012

Waz up my loyal subjects?  Yes, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve had the chance to connect to you cigar chompin neanderthals so I figured it’s time to share the wisdom of the Cigar Soldier to those in need.  Actually, I just like telling you guys how fun it is to be me once in while.  Although I missed out on our July Cigar Night, I did not suffer too badly in the land of Molson and hockey rinks.  I over drank and ate so much that I told my wife I’m going to start seeing two new women: Jenny Craig and Betty Ford.

I know you’re asking yourself if I bought any Cuban Cigars while in the Great White North, and the answer is of course I did not.  We all know it’s illegal for an American to purchase and possess Cuban goods.  Now that I’ve thrown Big Brother of my scent, you bet your fat Dockers wearing ass I picked up a few sticks from El Crocodrilo for my own enjoyment.  A fella would have to be insane to not at least grab a couple stogies from the forbidden land when the opportunity presents itself.  A wise man once told me, when opportunity knocks, you answer.  Another wise man once told me always separate your smaller bills from your larger bills so you never accidentally give a stripper a 10 when you meant to give her a single.  Come to think of it, that second wise man was much wiser.

Getting advice from our elders seems to be a lost art form today since modern man thinks he can find all his answers to life’s difficult questions either online or in a mini-marathon of Two and a Half Men.  I still very much enjoy listening and talking to those guys that have already lived life ahead of me because real world advice is far better than a self help book from a ghost writer sitting around in his stained boxers sipping Turkish Tea in Dubai.  That’s part of why my recent trip to Canada was so  great.  I spent a week with my pops fishing, drinking and just talking about life.  We don’t get a chance to do that very often anymore with our hectic lifestyles and geographical location putting limitations on those chats that admittedly I have come to enjoy in my advancing years.  I just can’t convince him to get a Facebook account but he is getting better with modern technology like email and being able to check voice mail on his cell phone.  Sometimes the advice from those we look up to isn’t as witty or catchy as a quote from Plato and not all advice can be watered down to an all encompassing  sentence from Buddha.  Sometimes it’s just knowing that they understand your situation and let you know it’s okay to have doubt in yourself as long as you keep pushing on doing what you know is right.  All that “no man is a island” shit is just F’n goofy if you ask me.  A flute with no holes is not a flute, a doughnut with no holes is a danish.  That Zen Philosopher Basho was one far out righteous dude but that garbage makes no sense.  The problem is that’s the type of drivel  mainstream society uses as their affirmation to help get them through the quagmire of shit that we call daily life.  Hell, it’s about as life altering as Jerry saying, “Look to the cookie Elaine, look to the cookie.”

I’m as far from a “wise man” as they come.  But I hope that the little advice I intermittently doll out to you cats help you enjoy the cigar lifestyle just a touch more.  And speaking of enjoying all that the cigar lifestyle has to offer, we have a few events coming up that I need to tell you about.

First off is the annual Buffett Bash at The Vault in DePere on August 25th.  Yeah I know you can’t smoke cigars in the bar but with live music to go along with a southern inspired food and drink menu, it is worth stopping by.  Plus you get to see The Cigar Soldier belt out the tunes as you guzzle brews.  The bar opens at noon and 12 Volt Band will play on and off throughout the day and then  kick off the real party around 8ish.  There will be a costume contest as well for those of you willing to suit up for the bash. 

We finally picked a date for what we used to call the “Smoking Cycles Run”.  Now we’ll call it………..well I don’t really know what to call it yet because the day is open to anyone with a bike or that has a classic/collector car and wants to make a run to Door County for some cigars, drinks and lunch.  We will be meeting at 10am on August 26th in the parking lot of Titletown Tobacco before venturing north to our first stop at Pen Pub for some Bloody Marys and a cigar on the deck.  From there it’s still a mystery where we’ll off to next but it will be a blast.  Please be sure to invite all the gang you ride with or go to car shows with because you wouldn’t want them to miss out on what is always a great day.

August Cigar Night is going to be on the 7th at Mike Lauders place located at 153 Hilltop Drive in Allouez.  I think most have you have been there before so it’s the standard practice, bring cigars, drinks, a lawn chair and your Speedo to take a dip in the pool.  Be there anytime after 5 and ready to have fun.  Just don’t leave your cooler at Mike’s because I think he may start charging you rent.  I wasn’t kidding about bringing a suit for taking a plunge in the pool, we can soak and smoke while enjoying Cigar Night.

That’s all the news that’s fit to be news so stay thirsty my friends.

The Cigar Soldier

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